Jamaica Tours, Guides and Vacations

This story is two months old now but I decided it was too funny not to post. It was a long summer. The kids and I had lunch at Jennys restaurant in Negril one afternoon. I drove down the cliffs from our home here on West End and ended up parked directly in front of the restaurant on the wrong side of the street.

While pulling away from the restaurant I had to leave with a large truck in the road in front of me. I saw a van coming down the hill and he saw me coming out. The idiot decided he could squeeze between me and the wall and ended up bumping my front bumper. I stopped instantly and barely had even moved. I was only traveling like 3MPH at the time of the accident.

The other driver came out with his arms swinging in the air and he was already cursing me. He walked over to my window and yelled to me that he was calling the police. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Go ahead call the cops. I have insurance”. He turned away from me and went back to his van where he reached in the window and came out with a machete. It was a nice long one and he proceeded to slap the windshield and side of my van with it. He was unaware the kids were in the van but he stuck the knife inside the rear window where the kids were and shook it around inside my van.

I did not even think about it. I started my van and drive off. I took back streets and ended up on the road to Sav. I decided to take the kids to the grocery store and we made an afternoon trip out of town. I made it back home at around 5pm and apparently just in time to meet with the lunatic cab driver who had somehow tracked me down to my apartment. This nut met me here at my home with a metal pole he found poolside.

This was a little too much for me and I took his road rage and added a double dose of my anger management to the situation, thats one dose per kid he endangered. I was glad to fight any ass who threatened me and my kids and then had the balls to bring it to my home. We battled in the yard for a minute or two. I took a whack with the pole over the head and shoulders that was hard enough to knock me on my knees but I was able to tackle him on the concrete and remove his weapon in the same motion. I did loose an inch of flesh on both knees as I landed on the sidewalk and he proceeded to drag me around a bit.

This guy was nuts and the only way I could get rid of him was to hurt him which I did not want to do. I ended up holding him locked on the ground until we agreed to go our separate ways. They called the cops who I was actually glad to see until they decided to try to blame me for the whole thing. They took me down to the Negril police department and tried to say I was going to be arrested for fleeing the scene of an accident. I told them I was forced to do so by a man with a machete. It got kinda heated after I told them I had expected this to be turned against me. I explained to them that in America its always the black mans fault and in Jamaica its the white guy. I am considered a white man by most people here and the cops normally try to blame me for things.

I told the lead cop there was no chance I would be treated fairly and he should just go ahead and do what he had too. I told him this was the second time I had been sat down in the same room with the handcuff chains hanging on the chair in front of me and for the second time I sat in the station as a victim while the criminal walked free. I asked him how a man could attack me with a knife and I should be arrested for running away.

After quite a bit of loud talk and explanation on my part I was released with no arrest. They decided to drop everything and leave well enough alone. I think it was the blood running down my leg and all over the floor that set them straight but I’m not sure still. They may have simply been tired of my mouth as most Jamaicans will after awhile.

Look for some pics and more as I heal my wounds with a natural antibiotic in the next blog post.

It could only be more perfect if the name were Alfie’s Paradise instead of Benjii’s Paradise but sadly Benjii got there first and made it his place before the rest of us found out about the river head of the Roaring River and one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever been.

It’s a perfect place to be by yourself and appreciate the natural world around you. The sound of gushing water as the river comes bursting out of the ground is as relaxing as the cool crisp waters where you can get a fresh drink while you swim.

There is not much to say about the place except that it is a place where you can spend a day loving the beauty of nature and the sounds of birds and the mountain breeze blowing through the palm trees. Benjiis is past the Roaring River attraction and well beyond where the tour bus stops. It’s a tough steep drive that on a pretty bad Jamaican road but it is well worth the 45 minute drive from Negril and a great way to spend an afternoon alone if possible or at least with close friends or family.

I love driving my van around Jamaica. It’s been about 10 months now I’ve had it and we have covered many many 1000’s of kilometers and nearly the entire country thus far. We have actually circled the island and spent time in most major cities. I can drive around Mobay, Ocho Rios, Negril and Kingston with no problem mon.

We have driven the South Coast route from Negril to Kingston a few dozen times now and I feel super comfortable taking this route. We have stopped at all the major attractions as well as most of the smaller ones in the last year and visited much of the South Coast Jamaica. I especially love the Bluefields and Treasure Beach areas. Mandeville seems like a nice place to chill with some of the coolest weather on the island.

The van has been a great asset and well worth the investment. I have had to put a few bucks into it to keep it running but besides my van insurance its been pretty cheap. The van insurance policy we started with was weak and basically it covers the legal crap we need. I’m looking for some new van insurance quotes online using a new service that I found at QuoteZone.com but I will most likely be forced to stick with the crap policy I have. I say its crap because it does not cover anything more than the other person and it costs a fortune.

I’ve been lost in the van at least once on every trip we take and to be honest I’m glad it happens. Most often we end up in some rather unique and interesting situations that could only be found by getting lost in Jamaica. From 100 head of goats taking up the road or an impromptu street festival that erupts around a sound system in the town square I have been in some places and seen some things that only only me and Jah seem to truly appreciate.

I love Jamaica and my van has been a great part of the experience. If you plan on spending any more than 6 days in Jamaica bring enough money to buy a car and just sell it before you leave. You’ll appreciate having one while you’re here and it may just change your life.

It seems like all of Jamaica is getting ready for Sumfest 2008 and I know I am excited about the line-up for each evening. My good friend Ras Slick has an opening slot for Thursday evening so I’ll be there for that for sure and my new buddy Anthony Able will be performing on Friday evening so I guess I’ll be there for that also. I may not make Saturday as I will have the kids with me and they probably cannot handle that much.

Anyone else planning on going to Sumfest 2008?

Here is the lineup and schedule at the Official Sumfest Website.

Some pictures of birds and butterflies in Jamaica.

Red Billed Streamertail or the Jamaican Doctor Bird

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Jamaican Oriole

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Jamaican Kingfisher

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Other Jamaican Birds and Wildlife

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